I said "Okay!"

This past December my boyfriend of 16 years proposed. I thought he was kidding at first, so I told him “noooooo…” We were out at a restaurant in NYC with family. Even his cousin asked “Are you serious?!” When he said he was, he put the ring on me and I said Okay. We were all laughing at how he shocked every single one of us. Except his stepfather who was in tears because he was with him when he bought the ring. And that was it. We were engaged.
Accepting the beautiful Dior Oui ring was easy. Now the tough part. They don’t tell you any of this in wedding prep books.
• Some people will ask for the date to coincide with their weight loss or baby plans. Unfortunately, for me that stuff doesn’t matter. It should be a good thing. In the end when we chose a day, people were just excited about it and got their own baby-making/diet schedule in gear.
• When I said I didn’t want a bridal party, some felt it was a statement about my friendship with them. My friends have busy lives, and while they would be more than happy to oblige me, I would prefer them to sit, eat and drink at the party and be treated as guests. Besides, I want them to wear a dress, shoes and makeup they want to wear. As I’m getting closer to my 40s, I can appreciate their established personal style instead of a bridesmaid dress. Close friends get it, but those who I was close with and grew apart from didn’t.
• No big white wedding dress. That idea shocks people. Makes them think sad thoughts for my mom who won’t be able to share in that process. But I never said I was excluding her from planning. In fact she’s the person who has helped us the most at this stage. Never, ever underestimate the support of a mother. She knows who I am and doesn’t expect anything less of me.
• Aren’t I taking away from his big day? Adults say the darnedest things. If he had dreamt of seeing me walk down an aisle, he wouldn’t have waited 16 years to ask me. I guess being engaged is a little (I said “a little”) like being pregnant: people think they can solicit the most inappropriate advice like it’s no big deal. And besides, I’m fairly certain if he had any issues with me he’d bring it up, much like he does about how I leave nail polish on the coffee table or how I continue to work on the couch despite having a beautiful office upstairs.
Don’t worry, I’m not kidding myself. I’m expecting more of it!